The weirdest thing happened

This is completely out of order as far as the days events, but I couldn't start this any other way. So there I am sitting on the floor at home with Mikaela helping her practice ring stacking when Ben comes in with his arms stretched to the side and says, "Mommy, the weirdest thing happened." He continues like he's telling a story, that is sure to have a funny ending. "I was going potty in the toilet, and somehow I got pee on the floor. I have no idea how it happened." Mmmhmm. So I respond, "is it just a little pee." he just looks at me. "Well Ben, get a little toilet paper and wipe it up." He's 5. I think he can handle it. He replies, "well, its kind of a lot." Great. So, I get up off of the floor, grab the paper towels and some cleaner and head to the bathroom. Oh, my, God! There was a puddle of pee all around the base of the toilet, like someone took a bucket of water and poured it on the floor. I ask, "Ben, did you get any pee in the toilet?" Of course I can see that he did, but I am completely puzzled as to how my 5 year old could produce so much pee! I've even asked if he was sure it wasn't water. I thought, maybe, just maybe, the toilet leaked. No. It's pee. Damn it. So I ask again, "how did this happen." He has no clue. Maybe he fell asleep for 5 seconds, or decided, "ah, it's mom's day off, she needs to clean up some pee." I don't really know. The strangest part is, as I was cleaning up, I noticed that there was not one drop of pee on the toilet seat. WTF? Ah, parenting. Never a dull moment. Never.

Now, back to the other event of the day. The blood draw. Another prize of parenting, taking your 1 year old to have her finger pricked and squeezed for a lead test. Fun. Actually, things went pretty well. After we went to the wrong office, good move, we found that the waiting room was empty. Fabulous!! Ben immediately dumps the entire contents of his backpack in the middle of the floor, but thankfully, there is no one there to piss off, exept for me. Mikaela wants down right away and starts to explore when the nurse comes out. After what seems like 5 minutes of waiting for Ben to pick up his stuff, we finally go back to the torture room. I manage to catch Ben before he dumps his backback again, while Mikaela hangs to one side grunting to be let down. Not gonna happen. So, I give her my insurance card. Who knew it would have such a calming effect? She sat on my lap and smiled at the nurse as she prepared to jab her finger and squeeze the hell out of it until she got the 2 tubes of blood she needed. Let me just say, my girl is brave! Not one tear. Turns out she's quite the bleeder. A good thing to know. After the nurse was finished, she put a ginormous bandage on it.




Seriously, was all this necessary? It really was. As soon as I took it off, it started bleeding again. I thought an hour would be enough, but apparently not :)